This year, I started fresh off a much needed vacation. Once I touched down back in the states, my inbox was flood and two messages caught my eye. One was from a personal trainer who told me that a “friend” gifted me a training session. Yeah, I didn’t know whether or not to be offended. Next was a note from my cousin, who decided to start a Biggest Loser club. Now, if you’ve ever seen me you know I’m not a little woman. I stand 6’1″ and I’m not a size 8. I took these to mean that the “universe” was trying to tell me something. I’m a former athlete who knows better when it comes to health, exercise and eating but I haven’t been able to carve out the time…

Now here is where things take a turn.

This unfinished post was sitting as a draft for over three months which means if I couldn’t even get a post about my (so be it, temporary) enthusiasm for fitness published…I wasn’t doing it in real life.

Oh as for that Biggest Loser challenge, all but one of the group members quit (before even starting).

I say all that to say…when I get back to NYC (I’m on vacation…again) I’m going to buy this peddle master.

PHOTO: Chad Hilliard

Now in their second season, I’m Sayin’ features the ladies dishing on current events, interviewing interesting people and ranting about whatever fills their hearts.

Enjoy!

I’m Sayin w/ Chloé & Hills: Season 2, Ep 1 – Bilal from Chloe Hilliard on Vimeo.

I’m Sayin’ TV: Chloe & Hills Review “The Way You Love Me” from Chloe Hilliard on Vimeo.

Recently I was introduced to a young journalist, who naturally asked the quintessential networking question: Do you have a business card?

For many years I was on the opposite end of that question, asking anyone whom I felt was in a position I wanted to be, or had the power to plug me in, for their card. If I was fortunate they would dig in their purse or wallet and pull out a card.

Before everyone carried a cell phone or had their own website, Twitter, Facebook, business cards were the key.

I’ve had a business card for every position I’ve held. Now, I don’t have a card nor do I want one. For starters, what would I list on the card? In today’s world, no one has only one job. There is the 9-5, the 6-10, the side hustle and the “I do this because I love it but it doesn’t pay and I don’t care” project.  How exactly do you fit that all on one card?

I’ve been handed cards like this before and never took them seriously.

Then you have people who are a little creative but still leave you clueless as to what they really have to offer.

I have a stack of business cards that I’ve collected over the years and while I’m sure that 90% of the people no longer work at the places listed on the card, I still can’t seem to throw them out. Consider them relics of a time past; a time when people interacted personally and had real conversations. This was long before we could scan each others barcodes or text.

I don’t have business cards because even when I did, I barely gave them out. I’d push past my business card holder (actually I had three, two of which were college graduation gifts), grabbing for my phone and have the interested party enter their information and vice versa.

While I do care, immensely, about the environment and watching my waste “Going Green” is just one small part of the reason why I’m card-less. However, no one can refute my response. They laugh gingerly and it spins the conversation in a completely different direction, one in which they drop the issue of why I don’t have a card.

I could just tell them to google me, but that would make me sound like an egomaniac.

While plowing through the 10,016 unread e-mails in my inbox, I stumbled across an message from a media company that I applied to months back.

By government standards, I am unemployed. However, as a journalist I’m allowed to exercise creative license and say that I am an independent contractor or (my favorite) “an entrepreneur”.

In addition to keeping the hustle alive, I still surf the internet for work.

New recession rule of thumb, if you don’t hear from a job within 6 weeks of applying it’s just understood that the job probably isn’t going to be yours. You’d think that technology would make it easier for them to send a rejection letter but due to the high volume of applicant most places aren’t even doing that courtesy anymore.

Funny, there was once a time if you didn’t hear back in two weeks, you’d impatiently call to ask what’s up. There was also a time when people sent hand written “Thank You” cards. Ahhh memories…

Back to the e-mail.

I was prepared for a “So sorry, you’re great but NO” message. What I read instead pissed me off:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carol XXXXXXX                                                                   Thu, Sep 3, 2009 at 2:09 PM

To: chloe.hilliard@gmail.com

Dear Chloe,

Thank you for giving us the opportunity to interview you for the position of Sr. Editor at our company.

It is always difficult to choose among the many candidates whom we interview.  After careful consideration, we cannot offer you a position at this time.  We will however, maintain your resume in our active files and will contact you should the need for further interviews arise.

Again, we thank you for your interest in our company and wish you every success.

Sincerely,

Carol

Director of Human Resources

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

chloe.hilliard@gmail.com <chloe.hilliard@gmail.com> Tue, Sep 15, 2009 at 1:19 PM

To: Carol XXXXXXX

Sorry for my delay in responding. I’ve been traveling but found this in my in box.

I was never interviewed for the position.

I submitted my resume and never got a call back.

Perhaps you sent me this in error. I hope that I wasn’t supposed to be interviewed and was never given the opportunity.

That would have been very unfortunate.

- CH

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carol XXXXXXX Tue, Sep 15, 2009 at 1:28 PM

To: chloe.hilliard@gmail.com

Thanks Chloe.  I’m not sure what happened here.  I believe it was sent in error.

My apologies,

Carol XXXXXXX

Director of Human Resources

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What pisses me off about this e-mail isn’t that I didn’t get the job. I understand that I’m not only competing with my peers but countless other media professionals who are now in the same pool as I am.

What really grinds my gears, you wonder?

1 – Someone screwed up and it wasn’t me.

2 – There’s a chance that I should have been interviewed

For argument sakes (and the point I’m trying to make with this) say that I was on the list to be interviewed. If this happened to me, how many others does it happen to?

This got me to thinking, what can I do to make sure this doesn’t happen again.

• Deliver all resumes in person on scented paper with a $20 Starbucks card attached
• Call every 3^rd day after submission to ensure that my application is being moved along
• Get an after-hours cleaning job, be assigned to the office of the potential place of employment and check the waste baskets to make sure my -ish ain’t in there
• Befriend every HR staffer. Start by showering them with a gift basket of Hanes her Way, the Ped Egg, Victoria Secret body spray and DVDs of 27 Dresses, Pretty Woman and The Notebook.
• Submit a video resume of me sitting in an interview suit in my office going down the line of all my places of employment (in order for this to work I need to buy a suit. No, I don’t own one.)

What are you going to do to stand out from estimated 15 million unemployed Americans?

- CH