While plowing through the 10,016 unread e-mails in my inbox, I stumbled across an message from a media company that I applied to months back.
By government standards, I am unemployed. However, as a journalist I’m allowed to exercise creative license and say that I am an independent contractor or (my favorite) “an entrepreneur”.
In addition to keeping the hustle alive, I still surf the internet for work.
New recession rule of thumb, if you don’t hear from a job within 6 weeks of applying it’s just understood that the job probably isn’t going to be yours. You’d think that technology would make it easier for them to send a rejection letter but due to the high volume of applicant most places aren’t even doing that courtesy anymore.
Funny, there was once a time if you didn’t hear back in two weeks, you’d impatiently call to ask what’s up. There was also a time when people sent hand written “Thank You” cards. Ahhh memories…
Back to the e-mail.
I was prepared for a “So sorry, you’re great but NO” message. What I read instead pissed me off:
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Carol XXXXXXX Thu, Sep 3, 2009 at 2:09 PM
To: chloe.hilliard@gmail.com
Dear Chloe,
Thank you for giving us the opportunity to interview you for the position of Sr. Editor at our company.
It is always difficult to choose among the many candidates whom we interview. After careful consideration, we cannot offer you a position at this time. We will however, maintain your resume in our active files and will contact you should the need for further interviews arise.
Again, we thank you for your interest in our company and wish you every success.
Sincerely,
Carol
Director of Human Resources
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chloe.hilliard@gmail.com <chloe.hilliard@gmail.com> Tue, Sep 15, 2009 at 1:19 PM
To: Carol XXXXXXX
Sorry for my delay in responding. I’ve been traveling but found this in my in box.
I was never interviewed for the position.
I submitted my resume and never got a call back.
Perhaps you sent me this in error. I hope that I wasn’t supposed to be interviewed and was never given the opportunity.
That would have been very unfortunate.
- CH
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Carol XXXXXXX Tue, Sep 15, 2009 at 1:28 PM
To: chloe.hilliard@gmail.com
Thanks Chloe. I’m not sure what happened here. I believe it was sent in error.
My apologies,
Carol XXXXXXX
Director of Human Resources
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What pisses me off about this e-mail isn’t that I didn’t get the job. I understand that I’m not only competing with my peers but countless other media professionals who are now in the same pool as I am.
What really grinds my gears, you wonder?
1 – Someone screwed up and it wasn’t me.
2 – There’s a chance that I should have been interviewed
For argument sakes (and the point I’m trying to make with this) say that I was on the list to be interviewed. If this happened to me, how many others does it happen to?
This got me to thinking, what can I do to make sure this doesn’t happen again.
- Deliver all resumes in person on scented paper with a $20 Starbucks card attached
- Call every 3rd day after submission to ensure that my application is being moved along
- Get an after-hours cleaning job, be assigned to the office of the potential place of employment and check the waste baskets to make sure my -ish ain’t in there
- Befriend every HR staffer. Start by showering them with a gift basket of Hanes her Way, the Ped Egg, Victoria Secret body spray and DVDs of 27 Dresses, Pretty Woman and The Notebook.
- Submit a video resume of me sitting in an interview suit in my office going down the line of all my places of employment (in order for this to work I need to buy a suit. No, I don’t own one.)
What are you going to do to stand out from estimated 15 million unemployed Americans?
- CH
